Trump Taps "The General" For Key Defense Position

(Washington, DC)  In a move he hopes will help get a great low rate while saving time, President Donald Trump today named The General to a key defense advisory position. Sources at the White House confirmed that President Trump planned to get this new rate online.

"That's why we went to him," Mr. Trump commented in a statement released by the White House. "It's all computers these days. Everything's online and this guy, when it comes to online rates that save you time, well, this guy...he's the best. I assure you. I mean, he's a General."

"Haters gonna hate." White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said about Pres. Trump's latest selection to his administration.

Some on Capitol Hill were skeptical, pointing to the General's lack of being an actual real person. "Haters gonna hate," Trump said through his press secretary, Sean Spicer. "Look, I think the President has been very clear here, that what the General lacks in beingness, he makes up for in online rates that save time. And that, as the President has said repeatedly, is the important factor here. Let's not get bogged down in reality. The General has great, I repeat GREAT low rates, you can get them online, and getting them will, in fact, save time. And time, as we all know, is money." Spicer said.

Not much is known of the position The General will take in the administration, but one can assume it will be in the area of rates that are online and whether they save time.

For his part The General is playing it close to the vest. When reached for comment he said simply, "For a great low rate you can get online, go to The General and save some time."