Trump Supports Nuclear Tripod

"our nuclear tripod will finally be restored to the greatness it once had, Holding up our nukes like God wants," President Trump said today at CPAC.

Washington, DC -- Speaking at CPAC today President Trump expressed support for America's nuclear tripod.

"Nobody loves tripods better than me, I assure you," he said to drooling applause from the annual meeting of the nation's conservatives. "Believe me, when the rest of the world sees how great our tripods are, things are gonna be different, Big League."

"America's Nuclear Tripod is going to be the best in the world. Able to support a nuclear bomb or a camera or whatever you want to attach to the top of it because it's got three legs and because of that can remain balanced. I don't know what Obama was doing with the nukes, but that doesn't matter now. I won. So, we're going to go back to what we were doing when America was great and that means putting our nuclear arsenal on top of tripods the world over," he said to applauding audience members who go to political conventions on purpose.