"Love it or Leave it!" Trump to Native Americans

President Donald Trump was defiant today as he signed and executive order reinstating the Dakota Access Pipeline in Standing Rock, ND. "If these Indians, er..excuse me Native Americans, don't like the way we do things here in this country, then I invite them to go back to where they came from. Love it or leave it, Squanto!" the President bellowed before kissing Mike Pence on the lips and firing two six-shooters into the air.

"Yee-fucking-haw!" the President went on to say. "You know this pipeline is going to benefit Americans like me, one of the investors. And the only downside is a complete disregard for the wishes of a sovereign tribe and the absolute poisoning of the water table for the native people. And, Hell, we've been doin' both of those things for goin' on 300 years. It's the American way!

Getting blasted back to whatever country they came here from, Native Americans learned a hard lesson from our leader, Mr. Trump.

"I'm the jobs president and this pipeline is going to bring jobs that will directly benefit me, one of the AMERICAN PEOPLE! Thank you, President Trump!" he said from his chair at the Oval Office.

"You're welcome," he said back, from the same chair.