Trump Files Paperwork for 3rd Term in 2024

Supreme Leader Don Trump filed paperwork with the Federal Election Comission today to allow him to run for President for a 3rd time in 2024, after his obvious and for sure 2nd term ends. The fact that this violates the term limits clause for Presidents in the Constitution mattered little to Mr. Trump.

"Term Limits? More like Sperm Limits!" Trump commented while removing his syphillis-ridden cock and, literally, masturbating onto The American Constitution. "Yee-fucking-Haw!" he bellowed as a small dribble of male ejaculate squirted onto the sacred 230-year-old document.

Trump, who would be 78 years old in 2024, is unworried about his advancing age being an impediment to being a good president. "I'm in real good shape," Trump said slicing a 6-iron into the woods on the 9th hole of his golf course in Palm Beach. "Just the amount of toddler blood I drink from the child sacrifices I perform daily for my Dark Lord, Beelzebub, I oughtta be able to live to, at least, a hundred! I might make my 4th term 20 years long!"

"Man, my daughter is so fuckin' hot!" he added for some reason. "I might make her president on, like, Tuesdays, you know? That way, I could go golfing and there'd still be a Trump runnin' this shit! She is just so...great. She's Big League, I assure you."