Roy Moore’s Lord Working In Mysteriouser And Mysteriouser Ways

“Hehehe, this is all part of God’s plan,” Moore said Thursday.

(Birmingham, AL)  With certification of the election that gave his opponent, Doug Jones, the Senate seat he always thought would be his, Roy Moore’s Lord was working in more and more mysterious ways.

”That IS how He does it,” Moore said bravely clinging to the faith that had always worked for him in the past.  “And certifying the election for my opponent is certainly a mysterious way to go about making me the Senator from Alabama, but that IS God’s plan, so, uh...heh heh...somehow...we’ll get there.”

Since losing the election over two weeks ago Moore has steadfastly refused to accept the result. First not conceding, now filing a lawsuit contesting the results due to what he calls voting “irregularities.” “We’ll find some,” Moore commented when asked what those irregularities were.

”These are all great opportunities for the Lord to work his magic,” Moore’s wife Kayla said thumbing through a travel magazine with pictures of France. “But He just keeps moving us further and further from our true path. It’s confusing, but we still believe,” she said.

”We just know we’ll be in Washington someday,” Moore added staring off into the distance and sighing loudly. “The farther we get away from it, the more real it becomes.”