President Leaving Country For 8 Days, America Set To Throw Wicked Kegger

With the President gone, Americans are ready to "Fuckin' Party!"

(U.S.A.)  With the country's top dude headed out of the country,  America began preparations for a wicked kegger they'll be throwing this weekend. The party, still officially a secret 'til Trump splits, is set to be a real rager, according to those in charge.

"Dude, it's gonna fuckin' rock, bro," America said from the Golden Spike Liquor Store on 3rd St where America was picking up the kegs. "We've got 2 Half-barrels of Bud, and 2 more on reserve. We got beer pong, and beer bongs too. It's gonna be killer."

The hosts are hoping for a large turnout, especially from its neighbors. "Mexico's comin' and they're bringing the weed and Canada's gonna try to sneak some whiskey from its Dad's liquor cabinet. It's all kinda sketchy right now. Mexico told their mom they were staying at Canada's house and Canada said they were staying at Mexico's, so it's kinda touch and go, righ now," America said buying smokes and a lighter at the corner 7-11.

A love connection may also be in the works for erstwhile party boy that's been straight killing it for the last 240 years. "Yeah, I'm hoping Sweden stops by," America said. "I'm gonna knock the bottom of that, son!....if she shows. Fingers crossed.