Trump Hopeful To Dedicate New Trophy To Vegas Victims

(Washington, DC)  Touting the effectiveness of his last trophy dedication to the victims of Hurricane Irma in Puerto Rico, Donald Trump this morning stated he was hopeful he could do the same for the victims of Sunday’s mass shooting in Las Vegas.

”Thoughts and prayers just aren’t enough,” the President said before beginning his trip to tour the devastation in Puerto Rico today. “When a tragedy like this happens, you’ve got to have the will to do something bold, something truly effective. And that’s why I’m hoping we can get another big trophy in here that we can dedicate to them.”

Trump dedicated the President’s Cup Trophy, won by an American team of golfers over an international team last Sunday, to victims of Hurricane Irma in Puerto Rico as well as hurricane victims in Texas and Florida. The dedication immediately relieved the suffering of thousands of residents in the hurricane-devastated areas.

”Just knowing the President is thinking about us makes this eight hour wait to get water from this creek totally acceptable,” Puerto Rican, Juan Thomas said after hearing of the President’s announcement. “To think he took the time to mention us while he was at that golf tournament somewhere else shows how much he really cares. And that’s all we could ever ask for...along with food, water, and shelter.”

The trophy dedication Sunday came as a surprise to political experts on both the left and the right, showing Trump is willing to traverse risky new paths when solving the country’s problems and Making America Great Again. “We’ve got to do whatever it takes to drain the swamp and fix the problems because there are so many hurting,” the President said. “If I can go to a golf tournament every week and dedicate a trophy to those who are suffering, I’ll do it.”