Bannon Mostly Advising White House Lamp

(Washington D.C.)  With his advice less and less called on by actual people, Steve Bannon has taken to advising a lamp on a desk in the Oval Office.

"It's got real potential for change," Bannon said from an unpopulated area of the White House where he spends most of his time. "Sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. Whichever it is, it could always be the other. But, which should it be? And when? That's where come in."

The lamp, a holdover from the Obama administration, has three settings for brightness with each a little brighter than the previous. "Sometimes I'll come in here in the morning and the lamp is lit to the most intense setting, so I'll say, 'No, lamp. It's morning. Tone it down a little bit.' Other times, when it's say, late in the afternoon and the sun is beginning to go down, the brighter setting is needed to read the print on your Klan pamphlets. It's sounds complicated, but for a guy like me, who's very good at advising things, it just comes naturally. Oh, and my favorite part is that all of the settings on the lamp? They're white."

This is a new position for  Bannon who spent the last few weeks directing a closet door on when to be open and "when to be the other one," he said.