Local Torch Enthusiast Accidentally Attends Klan Rally

(Charlottesville, VA)  Area torch hobbyist, Myron Keffleman was dismayed to learn that the recent outing he'd attended was actually a gathering of local Klansmen.

"Well, color me surprised," Keffleman said after realizing his error in the chanting phase of the evening event. "I was all like, 'Mobile Fire, Mobile Fire,' but they were all like, 'The Jews Control the Banks, The Jews Control the Banks,' and I was like, 'Whoa.'"

The rally was organized by Nazi and jar of mayonnaise, Richard Spencer to protest the removal of a statue of Confederate President, Robert E. Lee from the local park, which seemed silly to Keffleman. "I don't get it," Keffleman said, "they say they're white nationalists, but they're supporting the wrong white nation. As I recall it the Confedracy was at war with America."

For Keffleman such mistakes are not uncommon. "Every time me and the boys in Lamp Lantern Flash try to get together and carry fire around, a bunch of racist jerks show up and start yelling about the blacks. It's annoying."

The fan of the flambeau won't get discouraged, however. "Doesn't matter how bad it gets," he said. "All I care about is the torch. And when it's the torch you seek, well...let's just say there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.