Trump Voters Buy Ivanka's Book. Nation's Couches Now Less Wobbly

(Trailer Parks)  Wobbly couches the nation over were stabilized today after throngs of Trump supporters rushed out and picked up Ivanka's new book, "Women Who Work."

"It's just the right size," Trump supporter Carl Reinholz said from his trailer outside Dothan, Alabama. "Now I can lay back on my couch here and not get all wobbly. I had a Bible under there before, but I thought, 'wait a minute, that ain't right. That'd fit under the recliner so much better.' And it did. Now they're both good!"

The book, widely lauded as the inspirational book of the season for women who work and have full-time support staffs, is flying off the shelves in record numbers, proving to be extremely popular with people who voted for Trump.

"Thanks to books, my little monkey can finally climb on the couch safely again. Thanks Ivanka,"

"It's the perfect book for my Sunday afternoon me-time," Trump voter Carla Jean Carleton said from the front stoop of her home in Aberdeen, South Dakota. "Every Sunday I like to unwind and relax with a good book. I pop open a box of white zin, grap a book, stick under my janky davenport, and just lie back and watch some NASCAR. 3-wide!!!" 

Some supporters have actually internalized Ivanka's message. "I think there's some great ideas in there," said Norma Thompson of Charleston, South Carolina. "Some folks just wanna slap that thing under their couch and, while that is what books are for, I think, if you dig a little deeper, you can learn something. Why just the other day, my boy Randall was acting up and getting all sassy. One smack with Ivanka's book across his sloping brow and he fell right into line, lickity-split! Thank you, Ivanka."