O'Reilly Donates $13 Million To Women's Group

(Washington DC)  Philanthropist Bill O'Reilly has donated $13 million to a group of needy women, the New York Times reported this week. O'Reilly made the donation despite not even being thanked by the greedy horde.

"I don't do it for the publicity," O'Reilly said through his publicist. "For me it's about helping out those who are less fortunate, like women." The veteran newsman's charitable history goes all the way back to 2004 when he gave millions to a down-and-out producer on his hit show, "The O'Reilly Factor." "Poor thing," he said of girl Andrea Mackris. "It's wasn't her fault she's a woman."

This deep understanding of the travails of womanhood strike at the heart of O'Reilly's charitable acts. "That's a big part of the healing process," he said. "Just letting these girls know it's not their fault. I say to them over and over, 'It's not your fault, it's not your fault.' Poor dears, for some it takes years to get through."

"I'm up to here in pussy," O'Reilly said recently.

The generosity creates a bit of a catch-22 for the all-around good guy. "Yeah, I'm pretty popular with them," he joked. A representative for one of the lucky gals even went so far this week as to call O'Reilly and his Fox News TV outlet, "...the Bill Cosby of corporate America." "He's one of the greatest comedians of all time," O'Reilly said. "I gotta admit, that one felt pretty good."